Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other
countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.
Know your ancestors and know yourself
On
Thanksgiving in the States, family members gather together to celebrate the
holidays. It’s a boisterous and jolly period of the year when friends and
families share new pleasant memories and reminisce about the past. In Korea, we
have a holiday named Chuseok, which is exactly like Thanksgiving. It’s a chance
to get closer with relatives and add some additional layers of fat to prepare
for the upcoming winter. However, something exclusive about Chuseok is that
relatives go visit the burial places of their ancestors to perform a
commemorative ritual. This ritual started out as a method of thanking our
ancestors for another successful harvest, during the times when agriculture formed
the center of civilization. Although it lost this function after industrialization
started off in Korea, this custom still remained as a part of Korean culture
and was taken on by each following generation. Now, there is a moderate amount
of families that have ceased carrying on this custom, but it still has a unique
meaning to those who still appreciate this tradition. It’s a great way to spend
one’s holidays in a more meaningful manner and it helps one develop his or her
self-identity. These two factors are the main reasons that make this custom
valuable enough to be shared by other countries.
To
begin with, visiting one’s ancestor’s grave makes up for how many people lock
themselves in their rooms and spend the holidays aimlessly. It’s hard to deny
that holidays are awaited by businessmen and student alike mostly due to the
fact that they provide an opportunity to refresh one’s body and soul. However,
when it comes to Chuseok, it’s not just a normal break from the frenzy at work
or school. It’s one of the few times one gets to meet his or her grandparents,
uncles, aunts, and nephews. In modern society, not many people understand the true
value of this opportunity and they merely lock themselves in a room to get intimate
with their phone or laptop. The perfect method to prevent this from happening
is to take on the custom of visiting the tomb of one’s predecessors. Some might
wonder why this is necessary when there are movie theatres and amusement parks
that are available. The problem with these recreational activities is that they
lack practicality as they aren’t compulsory and they attract people’s attention
to a screen or some other medium, distracting them from having actual
conversations. On the other hand, this custom has a mandatory tone to it as it’s
an “important ritual.” Adding on, a trip back and forth from the tomb gives
relatives plenty of time to talk about current issues or what’s new that’s
going on in their lives. Although this may be completely different from this
ritual’s original function, it’s meaningful that this custom serves the purpose
of bringing relatives together, just like how Chuseok is supposed to be.
Most
importantly, getting to know one’s ancestors and their hometown helps to develop
a better idea of his or her self-identity. In society, many people tend to
question their existence on Earth and the importance of their life. They don’t
understand why they have to suffer at work or at school to achieve something
when there are many others who can do exactly the same thing. The first step in
solving this problem is to acknowledge the fact that every single person has
his or her own traits that non other has and build up one’s self-identity. This
process usually starts with very fundumental questions, such as “Where am I
from?” The ritual I mentioned above is how one could gain answers to these
questions. Getting to know the home town from which his ancestors are from and excavating
little pieces of information about the deeds of the ancestors could give one an
idea of the family he’s included in. Such questions that seem very simple are
what help students explain their uniqueness and develop a sense of
self-identity.
Of
course, there are some religions that prohibit having any rituals for anybody
who’s not their holy god. However, putting such differences aside, the role
that this ritual plays for those who practice this ritual can’t be found
anywhere else. Not only does it bring the family members close together on the
holidays, but it also takes part in developing an individual’s self- identity. There
may be difficulties, such as religious differences, in sharing this custom, but
it does bring about personal gains to those who participate.








A nice opinion! I've never thought of custom like that. Most people seems to have wrote about being respectful to the elders. Only one thing; some religions or cultures don't even have graves. Not only some cukltures prohibit people from having rituals besides god, but also there are cultures that has different ways to respect the dead. But generally, excellent intro and paragraphs!
답글삭제Before everything, there's no offense on what so ever I'm gonna write about.
답글삭제One thing I also commented to Nam Ik in a similar context is that you can't actually name a essay or use a photo in a Toefl essay, so if it were to actually write a Toefl essay, this can be a little bit inappropriate. I know this point is almost useless(and a bit too strict), but anyway.
The next thing is compared the second reason(which I consider great), the first point about getting people moving is too weak. Maybe if the world was like something portrayed in Wall-E(where people don't actually move and just be tied to their own chair(?or whatever it is)), it can have a great meaning. However the people in this world still live in a real world, many of them loving to be active about everything.
Anyway, though my useless criticism this essay isn't a bad one at all. Perhaps it's great one instead so don't be offended.
I completed my three comments homework so this comment is just for fun, not something for Mr.Menards Class so if somebody else wants to comment on Minwoo's essay, feel free to do so.
답글삭제And what I want to say is:
Dude, seriously, you really write well. :)
"In Korea, we have a holiday named Chuseok, which is exactly like Thanksgiving. It’s a chance to get closer with relatives and add some additional layers of fat to prepare for the upcoming winter."
답글삭제gold.
I would emphasize that it also helps to get the family out of the apartment, to go outside and enjoy nature as many of the tombs are in the countryside, in your introduction. Families often meet, but will often stay in small apartments watching TV all day. Go outside! You don't mention this explicitely enough in the introduction. (DON'T mention the four to five hours it takes on the expressway to go from Seoul to Wonju :P )
This is by far one of the more solid essays I've read so far. Great job.