-My name is Minwoo Chang
“Min” represents the sky, “woo”
represents modesty, and “Chang” refers to benevolence. Holistically, my name
means “Be like the all-embracing, benevolent, and humble sky.” Have I lived up
to this name? Well, who am I to judge. I believe that one’s opinion of oneself
is the most biased of all judgments.
-Story behind the creation of my name
There’s a story behind the creation of
my name. I come from a strong Buddhist family. Both sides of my family are
Buddhist and my mother, as much as my grandmothers, is strong in her religious
belief. Therefore, when my mom was pregnant with me and my parents were trying
to decide upon a name, they went to seek advice from the Buddhist monks at the
temple our family often visits. They told my parents that it’d be for the best
if they’d include “woo” within the name, as I possess uncontrollable amounts of
energy. Whenever my parents talk about this story, they’d light-heartedly scold
me for having sucked all the energy out of my cousins and my brothers, as they
all use the same “woo” as a rotation. Frankly, they’re all crazy ba*****s. My
parents should be thankful for having put “woo” in all our names because of me.
-Childhood
There are two things I clearly remember
from the earliest years of my life. One, I really wanted to operate a vacuum
machine and push my stroller. To me, these two abilities symbolized adulthood,
authority, and independence. I wanted to be in control, alive and active, not
strapped onto a baby carriage. Moreover, I thought that it’d be cool to actually
operate something on wheels by myself. This desire factored greatly in the
relatively fast pace at which I acquired proficiency in walking. Two, I was quite
energetic ever since I was little. I remember trying to climb up doors by using
chairs to stand on the door knobs and then reaching the top by using them as
structural support.
-Younger Brother
When I tell my friends that I have a younger
brother, they’d gasp in astonishment and give me that look of terror and
skepticism, as if I committed a crime or said the inexplicable. I do barely
speak about my brother, but they say the main reason for the sudden “I don’t
know you anymore” treatment is because I don’t seem like a guy who’d qualify to
have a younger brother. They say I don’t act like an older brother. I’m not
sure whether it’s because of my energy that’s known to be excessive, my short
height, or my childlike looks, but it’s true that people often think that I’m
quite childish. I understand where they are coming from, because my younger
brother and I are more like friends than brothers in a strict vertical
relationship. We used to be in such a relationship back when he was an infant,
when I fed him, held him, and taught him, but everything changed when we moved
to the States. My friends were his friends and he’d always follow me around. He’s
never called me “Hyung,” the Korean label for an older brother, since then, but
has always called me “Min Woah” or simply “Ya,” the Korean word for “Hey.” We
never boss each other around but rather take turns doing errands and I’d never
make important choices for him or force him into doing something. Nevertheless,
this doesn’t mean I neglect my responsibilities to him as an elder brother. I
often try to take care of him, look out for him, and guide him in a way so that
he won’t make choices he’d regret later on. And of course, as an older brother,
I play very rough pranks with him and often hit him around for the purpose of
toughening him up. (He’s a big kid, taller than me and burlier, but he was once
bullied by a girl in the first grade of elementary school)
-I am a person of very conflictual
attributes and influences. As the first born child of my father, who is the
eldest of three brothers, I’ve received much pressure from my grandfather to
sustain the entire family. See, being from a traditional family loyal to Korean
customs in a modernizing world, our family has always gone to my grandfather’s
house in Daegu every Lunar New Year and Chuseok, and each time we’d see even
our farthest relatives, perform ancestral rites, and visit my ancestor’s graves
in Gumi, Indong, where our line of Changs originates from. And every time, my
grandfather would talk to our deceased ancestors, saying that I am the “Chang
Jangnam,” the eldest of the Chang family, and I will eventually make them
proud. On the other hand, my father has always told me that I should live doing
what I enjoy what I possess fervor in and dream on, while I myself am quite ambitious
rather than stable and prefer taking risks. Because of this, I always feel a
sense of responsibility in the activities and jobs that I’m attached to and
detest individualistic, egocentric societies, but at the same time enjoy
exploring and taking risks to fulfill my own wants in certain areas I find
worthy of doing so.
In a similar way, by tendency to
improvise and make plans along the way contradicts with what my father always
tells me, to have a dream, a goal in life, and specifically plan my way towards
that goal. This is probably why I feel anxious when I haven’t planned out what
to do, but at the same time still enjoy diverting from my plan and improvising.
Moreover some might not consider my plan as a plan at all, because it’s not
centered upon a specific goal, but a mixture of goals and what I want to do.
I believe this point on intertwined
inclinations and conduct will be a recurring theme throughout the remaining 25
points.
-I plan on becoming a venture
capitalist. I first became interested in investment because of my father and a
book he introduced to me on Warren Buffett. It wasn’t the idea of creating
money out of money that lured me into the practice, but the idea that I can invest
in the industries I possess much passion in and play a role in their
development. Considering that I possess a very eclectic profile of diverse
interests and that I’ve changed my dream job all across the board throughout
the years, investment seemed the most logical and stimulating choice. Moreover,
I want to become a venture capitalist specifically because of the structure of
Korea’s economy. Compared to those of other countries, it is highly centralized
around few conglomerates, and thus the brilliant, innovative ideas generated by
the small to middle sized corporations and the progressive generations of this
country tend to be bought out. Venture capitalism, when studied intensely and
practiced systematically, will further develop this country and become a source
of new jobs and success.
-During some time in elementary
school, there was a period in my life during which I spent my minutes in the
shower thinking about the purpose of life. This was also when my father began giving
lectures on how a man should have a dream, a goal in life that he enjoys
pursuing, and should strive to achieve that dream for the rest of his life. I
began to wonder the purpose in life is if we’re all going to die anyways.
Considering that only a handful of people get to leave their names in history or
leave a footprint of any sort on the surface of earth, are the lives of those
who do not leave such a footprint useless and meaningless? Of course, one could
argue that everyone leaves a small footprint of their own before they die, but
then such footprints simply fade away with death and thus do not contribute to
a perpetual purpose in life. I may never find the true answer to this question
and my thoughts on the issues will probably change as I age, but for now I have
found my answer. I choose to see life as a gift as well as a responsibility. It’s
a gift in that through life, we are given a chance to experience, explore, and
cherish the wonders of this world as well as mature and learn through the
tragedies and hardships. Moreover, it’s also a gift in that we’re given a
chance to make the most out of what we have or fight to achieve more. We’re
given a chance to experience, learn, and develop. It’s also a responsibility
because in the intricate convolution of numerous lives, I am alive today due to
the death of another person. I live in better conditions because someone else
suffers more. I hold a responsibility to respect this fact and to experience
what that person was unable to. If you think about it, just by a slight change
in the mischievous game of fate and chance, that person who’s dead or less
fortunate could easily have been you or I.
Some other shower meditation episodes
include wondering what it’d be like if I were to see myself through the lens of
someone else. Would I look the same? Would I appear as I think I do? Another
theme was the existence of souls and the possibility of separating one’s
consciousness from his or her body. I wondered why our souls and our
consciousness have come to exist in a confined state, within the containers of
our bodies.
-My favorite literature quotation is “I'm
inclined to reserve all judgment.” It’s not that there’s much rhetorical sophistication
in this single sentence, but it’s just that this is a quote that contains the
mentality I try to live by. Everybody has a story behind their flaws, a
sophisticated concoction of influential experiences that form who they are. Of
course, this does not mean such stories should serve as excuses for one’s
crimes and misconducts, but it rather signifies that one should not judge others
upon a small portion of what that person is and put labels on that person’s
head. Who are we to put price tags and labels on the foreheads of everybody
else? This trail of thinking is probably why I don’t have someone I
particularly hate or dislike.
But then again, could I say that I’m completely
free of all judgments? I’m afraid not. The ironical thing is, I do detest
certain people, people who are judgmental and egocentric. Those who enjoy going
behind someone’s back, gossiping about misleading judgments they make depending
on false rumors, and ranking that person according to their personal standards.
I believe that such hasty labeling is the worst of all crimes and thus am very
careful before I think of someone as judgmental.
-I tend to befriend most people I
meet. However, I don’t have someone I can call my “best friend.” I think it’s
mostly because I don’t like talking about myself or revealing my deepest
thoughts and secrets to another person. Being a first born child, I somewhat
believe there’s no room in this society for a man’s sentimentality. Moreover,
my short height scares me about what might happen if I show a soft spot.
-I hate fluorescent light. I enjoy
either spending time with a small number of people out in the sunlight or
spending time alone in a dark room at night with only a night light on. This is
also another contradiction. I like the company of my friends and also enjoy
time spent alone simply listening to music or pondering about my future and
past. I also enjoy spending time outside at a park or beach under the sun, but
at the same time enjoy sitting in a couch in my living room with sunlight
shining through the window or with a night light on in the middle of the night.
Either way, I don’t want a fluorescent light on.
-Living in Seattle is probably the
most influential experience I’ve ever had. For one thing, the experiences I had
in Seattle were the happiest of my life. In addition, most of my mannerisms, linguistic
tendencies, and ways of thinking were formulated during this time. This is
probably why my Korean pronunciation still sounds like I just came back from
the states and thus my friends call me an “American,” when I’m truly a Korean.
-In Seattle, I spent a lot of my time
exercising. Basketball, football, soccer, baseball, cycling were the most
common of the activities I did with my friends. We’d also pick berries and
plums to sell in bags and created these secret bases beneath stairways and
trees just for the purpose of the secrecy, brotherhood, and fun of raiding
them. Yet, the most memorable activity was climbing. I loved climbing stuff. I
climbed mostly tall trees, but my favorite spot to climb was a concrete wall
about two stories high. I enjoyed the physical pressure and thrill, but I also
loved the feeling I got when I stood at the top, looking at how all would come
together to form a big picture.
-Back in elementary school, when I
returned to Korea, I continued with my practice of rock climbing. In my
neighborhood, there is a two story playing ground structure and I got the idea
of climbing its exterior walls during a game of cops and robbers. The practice
eventually spread throughout my friends and so during my friend’s birthday
party, we began to climb the walls simply for the fun of it, not as a part of a
game. It was during this birthday party, I missed a step and fell from the
second floor. My friends say I passed out for about 4 seconds, but all that I
remember is waking up to find my crotch burning (I think I hit something while
falling down), taking a moment to shake the pain off, and returning to the
birthday party to play with my friends.
-Talking of exercise, I have a very
strange physical feature. I have very thick bones and thus have thick limbs,
especially thighs. I’m also told that I was quite muscular since I was young.
This is why I’ve never broken a single limb, although I love intense exercise.
I’ve played all kinds of sports throughout the years, tennis, baseball,
basketball, bowling, golf, football, soccer, surfing, paragliding, scuba
diving, snorkeling, swimming, snowboarding, skiing and etc.
-I have extremely flat feet. A bone
protrudes out from the parts of my feet that are supposed to cave in. It used
to be very painful when I was young after 30 minutes of shopping with my
mother, but now that thick muscles have formed in my feet, I don’t feel the
pain that much. Or it could be that I just got used to the pain. Nevertheless,
my toes seem to be twisting outwards because I just left my feet as they were
and now, due to my anxious father, I’ve installed structural support in the
soles of my shoes.
-I have a weird skin condition. No
bacteria. No viruses. I simply find myself scratching parts of my body until
blood oozes. Although I refrain from doing so during the day, I do it unconsciously
in my sleep.
-I grew up with the radio. My
favorite channel is the American Forces Network. A dream I have is to have
enough money so that I can buy an expensive stereo and buy the albums of all
the artists I like.
-I love music, like most people, but
I love all genres of music. Jazz, blues, contemporary rock, Brit pop, Korean
jazz hip hop, hardcore hip hop, classical, indie, and etc. Moreover, I tend to
like old music more than modern music. My mother tells me I’m an old man. I
like to store memories in certain songs. I find songs that fit a certain
situation, fall deeply into the music as well as the emotions and thoughts
aroused during the time, and later when I listen to the song again, the same
emotions and thoughts reoccur. I play the guitar for a similar reason, to play
the songs I like and play my emotions.
-Literature is a ways for me to
experience. There’s so much one man can experience in his limited lifetime and
I want to know all there is about life on Earth. Literature provides an
opportunity to form diverse perspectives and the ability to understand another
person’s standing point. My focus while reading literature is standing in the
narrator’s skin.
- The most important value I find in
human interaction is mutual trust and honesty
-When making decisions, I try to
consider all possible scenarios, all possible risks, and all possible opinions.
However, when it comes to certain matters, I’m quite stubborn.
-I like looking at the big picture. That’s
why I like being a whip in debate and being a point guard in basketball.
Nothing beats the thrill of all the pieces fitting in together to create a good
play. It’s the same reason I like football.
-In middle school, I was bullied??? somewhat
because of my short height.
-I went through some serious personality
changes in middle school.
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